Chapter 12 of Radical Attraction is still proving in the oven and progressing well. I had few moments of inspiration about weight loss and wellbeing which have spilled out here. I hope you enjoy it!
For the people that don't know me, these days, I'm a plus size kind of guy. I wasn't always this way and have had phases where I have been reasonably trim and fit. As this blog is a testament, I am a student of the Law of Attraction and so this year I have intentions to be the best I can be by changing the vibrations that I have been creating through my thoughts. If your you're not in the kind of shape that you'd like, it's probable that the thoughts you hold about yourself, are generally negative. With me, I just gave up on my body, in what was a very hard year personally last year.
Accepting the Law of Attraction rule, that "like attracts like', then the types of thoughts and feelings that you are having about your body, appearance, what you feed it and how you look after your body are not in alignment with the body you desire. In other words, the state of your body is a reflection of the type of thoughts you hold about yourself. I call them "I am" thoughts. I am good/no good at sport. I am smart. I am dumb. I am/not creative. I am good/no good at maths.I am good/no good at confrontation. I am good/no good at my job. I am able to eat what ever I want. I have to be careful with what I eat. I am fat. I am thin. I am fit. I am unfit.
So all these little loops of thoughts go round and round in your head, dictating what we attract into your life and how we react. If you don't believe me, take the time one day and watch these thoughts. As things happen during the day these little loops pop up in your head.
You're asked: "Would you like to have a game of tennis?" The loop says: "No thanks/yes please - I'm no good/I'm good at sport."
You're asked: "Can you help me with my maths homework?"The loop says: "No thanks/yes please - I'm no good/I'm good at maths."
You're asked: "Would you like fries with that?"The loop says: "No thanks/yes please - I put on weight really easily/I never put on weight."
You can see how these loops of thought have an effect on our behaviour and when you factor in our "like attracts like" rule, then you can see these loops of thought have a big impact, as they are key to what you are attracting in you life. So to make lasting changes in your life you need to change these thoughts.
On the weekend I read an article in "The Weekend Australian", which focussed on people who had been on diets, who after losing significant amounts of weight, almost universally put it back on. It described how researchers have found that:
"A full year after significant weight loss these men and women remained in what could be described as a biologically altered state. Their still plump bodies were acting as though they were starving and were working overtime to regain the kilos they lost."
This got me thinking. Could it be because the "I am" statements they held about themselves were still the same as those that held about themselves before they lost weight, creating a misalignment?
You need to change the thoughts you are having about yourself and your body, to achieve long term wellbeing. You can't be madly counting every kilojoule that enters your body and exercising like a mad person, when all the feelings you have about yourself are loathsome and unloving. The internal image you hold of yourself and the feelings about you body have significant effect on how your body manifests physically.
When you decide that you would like to change the way you look, you will find the "experts" come out of the woodwork."You gotta eliminate carbs. Don't eat after six. You must try Pilates/ Yoga/Boxercise"..... what ever! Going on a diet is like declaring war on your body because it treats food as the enemy. It's all the foods fault! It's too delicious and all it does, is end on your hips or you stomach! Putting the weight back on, as described above,is your body fighting back.
You will notice there are people in the world, the "lucky ones", who seem to be able to eat whatever and how much they want and remain slim and lithe. How does that work? The regular answer is metabolism. Their bodies are just great at burning the food that is put into them, so there is no little extra bits left for the hips or the stomach.
Maybe their attitude to food has something to do with it? What if instead of war we declared:
"Food is my friend!"
It is food that gives your body all the nutrients and fuel that needs to do the amazing things it does. So if we make food our friend maybe we will no longer categorise different foods as "good " or "bad". They're not good or bad they just have a different composition of fat, nutrients and fibre. When we are at war with food we are focussing on those constituents that have the highest likely hood of ending up as fat deposits on our bodies. The Law says "like attracts like" and so a negative focus on what food will do to your body will actually attract this negative aspect into our lives and body. So it is counter productive to what we desire!
With food as our friend we are seeking to restore the balance in our eating, eliminating the guilt and fear that comes from focussing on the negative aspects of food. To label what you are about to eat as "junk" is not respectful of your body. Labelling it as junk emphasises the negative aspects of this type of food, even though it still has some things that maybe good for you body. But of course there are some foods that ars better . Maybe we could re-label it "fun food" instead. We know the primary purpose of this food is not nutrition, but convenience and taste. Eat it. Enjoy it. Know it's fun. Know that you will eat other food for nutrition, but it can be fun to have a burger and fries with friends. Fun is an important element of life. It adds to our wellbeing.
What would happen if we focussed on the positive aspects of food.
Maybe the answer is to move to the place of:
"I love food. Food is my friend. It is great for my body!"
Can you see the difference if we embrace such an approach. The emphasis is now what is good for our bodies. We can now focus on what will bring wellbeing to our bodies. Isn't that what we want!
Further in the article described earlier, a couple detailed the extreme lengths they went to maintain their weight loss. It included exercising for more than 100 minutes a day, weighing daily and recording all food eaten They had calculated their bodies burn rate for a number of different exercises and the exact numbers of kilojoules their bodies require each day. It sounds like war to me and is devoid of any fun or joy. Could a focus on the positive aspects of life have greater impact than an obsession with a particular number on the scales?
There is one question all this obsession ignores:
"What is the optimal condition or shape for what the body is going to be used for?"
Do you need to have an athlete's or model's body to live well? Is all the stress this puts on your body good for you? An austere diet, like the one described above take all lot of fun out of life.
So a strong resilient body with resistance to illness may serve you better in you life than a body than one that is built to run marathon or wear size 6 clothes.
When people hear I am changing things in my life so my body maybe more to my liking, the automatic reaction is that I'm on a diet or an exercise regime which focusses on making me like an athlete. I'm never going to make it to model status! There's all these rules and regulations which are apparently mandatory for losing weight.
So. I am not on a diet. I am not on exercise program. I am just making lifestyle changes that feel more in line with who and what I want to be. It's amazing when you look at your life that there are lots of opportunities to improve you wellbeing. Opportunities to eat foods that are fresher or more nutritious or even tastier than the foods that you currently eat habitually. Food is you friend! Maybe you can go and find new friends that will increase you wellbeing.
You can also find opportunities to be a little more active and allow your body to become a little stronger. Today as I was coming home I passed a young woman who had parked her car in a no standing zone near a very busy intersection, across the road from a sushi shop. This caused great inconvenience to other motorists,but she had ensured she took the least possible number of steps to get her lunch. She just may have achieved more for her body, if she had parked 50 metres away and walked to the shop, because I have found if you gradually ask you body to do a little more, it will do a little more. Opportunities to walk a little more are great! Do you really need to park right next to the door at the shops. Could you walk instead of drive? What about early morning exercise? I know I have always been resistant but I am enjoying it now. My focus is changing small aspects of my life permanently, which make me more active, improve my nutrition and over all wellbeing. These are not radical changes but incremental and permanent changes to give small but permanent improvements to my body.
In 5 weeks I have become a little trimmer, a little fitter and a little happier. I am enjoying the improvement. I am using a very handy app on my Android phone to track my walking and weight and I find this helps keep me motivated and confirms the impact of the changes I have made. It's not so important what the score but that I continue to make progress.
I know it's radical thinking, but I think it's a worthwhile hypothesis.You need to love your body...even though it may not look how you want right now. Think of all the good things it's done for you.
In closing remember, improving your wellbeing will put you in the best place you can be for fitness, health and self-esteem. This is more important than a number on the scales. If you feel great, you'll be great and you'll do great things. So, don’t focus on how bad things are. Instead focus on how good you’d like things to be.
Next week I'll talk about different types of bodies and detail a process that I have created that will help you change these "thought loops".
May wellbeing be with you!
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